the post holiday slump

every year around this time i think to myself, good grief, where did the last year of my life go? it's almost new year's which means that i have to adjust to writing /09 instead of /08 and it also reminds me that i'm that much closer to turning 30, which i like to think i am cool with but will most likely have some sort of breakdown when it actually does happen. for instance, i was over at my mom's last night and as i was leaving, for some reason or another, it occured to me that i am nearly 30 years old and i do not live at home with my parents anymore. and that kind of made me sad. not because i want to be 30 and living with my parents, but because sometimes i really do miss the times when i was a kid and living at home and my biggest worry was whether or not the plastic dinosaur i left out in the rain was going to mildew or if my mom was going to cut the ends off my peanut butter sandwhiches. it's so cliche to say, but it all goes by so quickly, and the holidays only serve to remind me of that, because i get all excited around thanksgiving and start listening to christmas music and wrapping presents and gearing up for this one day that is...over in a heartbeat. so where did my 2008 go? well, let's see. i went to puerto rico twice on business this year. did makeup for a local cooking show, a few fashion shows and photo shoots and even got paid for a few jobs. i took my sister to see tom petty, and she took me to see billy joel. i put in volunteer time for the national museum of women in the arts and the animal welfare league of arlington. i celebrated my one year wedding anniversary. i finally made it back to italy after 6 long years. i saw the acropolis in athens. went to see a midnight showing of the latest batman movie. i shook hands with the last living lead actor of gone with the wind, my all time favorite movie (that would be olivia dehaviland), i hit some golf balls with my father, auditioned to be a MAC makeup artist (i still think that is their loss!!), drove to montreal and back in a 72 hour period, shared a stage with the First Lady at the White House, took erik to see cirque du soleil, voted for a new president, and kissed my mother approximately 9,784 times. although it was on a sad note, i did see my dad's family at my uncle's funeral, and i was able to share mother's day brunch with my grandmother. i took around 5,000 pictures. i spent time with my girlfriends. i laughed a lot. i cried a little, too. (ok, i cried a lot, what of it??) i got a little stronger and a little more wise. i've seen a little more of the world. maybe i am not a little kid anymore and maybe i have bigger things to worry about than where i left my favorite barbie, but i guess i wouldn't be able to live the life i live without growing up a little every day and letting go, just a little, of the safety net of my family. but i mean, just a little...i could crumble any day now and run crying back to my mother with a skinned knee, you never know. it's a delicate balance. but i'm looking forward to 2009. i have goals. there are trips i want to take. things i want to do. i will have a new niece or nephew come summer time, and erik and i will be moving yet again next month, so i will start the new year in a new apartment, and god knows i love organizing closets, so there's that. 2008 went by really quickly. REALLY quickly. but it was a good year. there were ups and there were downs, but now that christmas is over and i'm hanging in the balance between all that holly jolly and all the happy new year, i can take a minute and look back and say, yeah. i did the best i could this year. and i'm happy with that.

things that i do not understand, cont'd

america. america, america, america. let's talk. have you all gone mad? have we lost our collective minds (or our collective sense of good taste??)? i have just been informed that - and i never thought this day would come, really i didn't - LIL WAYNE leads the grammy nomination pack this year with something stupid like 7 or 8 nominations. excuse me?? WHAT??? lil wayne?? the guy who apparently suffers from some sort of clothing disorder that prevents him from ever fully pulling his pants up over his rear end?? the guy with 19 platinum and diamond necklaces around his neck at any given time?? this kid who mumbles about lollipops (and i can read between the lines, mister...i know what that song is REALLY about, and it is not candy. EWWWW!) and looks like he is a 13 year old gangsta is the person that we have chosen to lavish with grammy, i repeat GRAMMY, nominations galore?? i do not understand, america. i am at a loss. this is music? this is where we are going with this?? are there even any real instruments played in any of his songs, or is it all studio produced beats with women panting in the background?? am i wrong? tell me, america, AM I WRONG??? you know what? ok. ok. i'll admit it. i like britney spears. i said it. I LIKE HER. actually, no. maybe I LOVE HER. maybe i stayed up to watch her "documentary" on MTV (oh my god, i just admitted to watching MTV...for shame, for shame!!!), and maybe i have at least ten of her songs on my ipod and maybe i really am a slave 4 her, but this does not mean that i think that she deserves awards for her music. i do not think she is doing anything groundbreaking. i do not think she is creating new music for new audiences. i think she is producing catchy pop sugar music and she looks better now than she did a year ago so i'm ok with her wearing belly baring tops on tv again. what has this lil wayne person ever done that was so amazing?? has he ever had his picture on a bubble gum card?? hmmmm?? how can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on a BUBBLE GUM CARD???!?!?!? (sorry...if you've never seen charlie brown's christmas ((and if this is the case, i encourage you to stop reading my blog and never speak to me again, you imbecile!)), you probably won't understant that reference. but i don't really care.) lil wayne does not have some mind blowing vocal range, he is not a musical prodigy that can play any instument you give him, and in fact, i can't think of ANYTHING this guy has done except pollute the airwaves with music that i cannot relate to. this saddens me, america. i had better hopes for you. for us. it saddens me but i can't say it surprises me. you know who should win grammys?? PEOPLE WITH TALENT. i thought that was the whole point. thank you for correcting my mistake, america. how very considerate of you.

in lieu of this nomination news, i am boycotting the grammys this year. this INCLUDES any website like people.com or perez hilton and their "best and worst of the red carpet" lists. and if you know me, if you really know me, you will know how hard that will be for me. BUT NO. i am not watching. i am not caring. I AM LOSING MY FAITH. i am angry, i am dissappointed, i am dumbfounded. and obviously, i am NOT a fan of lil wayne (or anyone, for that matter, who prefaces their given name with "lil" like lil kim or lil momma). look, america, i have tried, time and time again, to give you more chances to prove to me that you are not in a downward spiral. but that's it. it's over. i am done with your shiteous taste in music and i don't need you anymore to tell me what i should listen to. you wanna know why i keep listening to journey and heart and billy joel and dire straits?? CAUSE THAT'S REAL MUSIC. PEOPLE PLAY REAL INSTRUMENTS AND THEY WRITE REAL WORDS THAT MEAN SOMETHING IN A REAL LANGUAGE. so. my headphones are on from here on out. i'm sorry, america, did you say something? i can't hear you. my REAL MUSIC must be turned up too loud.

things that i do not understand

cheesecake. i do not understand cheesecake. i will not eat it simply on the principle that it sounds like it is cake made out of cheese. i like cheese and i like cake. (well... i like icing on cake, so what if i scrape it off and then throw away the cake?) but together? ick. cream cheese. that just sounds like evil. and i do not consume dairy products that i think may be trying to kill me. apparently, however, i make a mean pumpkin cheesecake.

away messages. or, out of office auto reply messages. hello, if i am trying to hide from the world, why do i need to set a message in my email to tell people that?? let them think i fell into a black hole under my desk or that i ran away to the south pacific. no one needs to know my business but me. and really, i have no intention of returning your email as soon as possible, anyway.

having to work the day before or after a major holiday that will involve massive amounts of eating. come on. i am completely checked out at least 3 days before any holiday. just go ahead and give me the day before and after. i promise i'll be ten times more productive than if i just get the one day off.

weave. or hair extensions. whatever you want to call it. are you so ashamed of your regular hair cut that you need to glue in 10 inch long strips of someone else's? i mean, i know sometimes its hard to be patient if you are trying to grow out your hair, but really, if your hair is shoulder length one day and down past your rear the next, rest assured that we all know that shit's fake.

why i am still here. honestly. i am still at work. why is this?? this i must remedy immediately...

only in america

i make no secret of the fact that i love thanksgiving. i mean, i LOVE it. not just because i love turkey. i mean, i do love turkey, but i hate stuffing, greenbean casserole, sweet potato casserole, that red cranberry stuff that comes out of the can and looks like jell-o (really? what IS that?), and just about any other thanksgiving-y side dish you could think to attempt to put on my plate. but i do love thanksgiving. i just love being with my family, the noise and chaos that a houseful of people who are related to each other brings, knowing that 2 hours after i've consumed enough turkey for a week's worth of dinners, i will be in the kitchen again, making myself a turkey sammich...really, i think this is what the pilgrims actually had in mind all those years ago. and i'm sure that had those pilgrims not been so busy trying to make sure that they didn't starve to death over the long and brutal winter, no doubt that they would have made huge cartoon character balloons that required 45 people to hold them down, and they would have paraded those suckers around the woods and asked vanessa williams to sing christmas songs to top it all off. if only the pilgrims knew that a gathering that for them was a matter of life or death would, hundreds of years later, turn into an annual "gorge yourself because it's thanksgiving" festival, complete with turkey themed napkins, parades hosted by katie couric and that annoying al roker guy, an enormous floating spongebob squarepants, and the chance to consume EVEN MORE the next day, in the form of leftover turkey and one day sales. aren't we just so lucky that our forefathers had the wherewithall to conjure up such a wonderful, wonderful holiday. leave it to a country where obesity runs rampant, to step things up a notch and encourage EVERYONE to eat not just one or two, but three helpings of stuffing and mashed potatoes, and at least 9 pounds worth of that 30 pound bird on the table, because god knows all that tryptophan will help you hibernate your way to spring! (don't worry though, we will wake you up for christmas - wouldn't want anyone to miss out on all that chocolate and good cheer!)

seriously, though. i love the holidays. i really do. especially because it means i'm one day closer to the "a christmas story" marathon on tbs and every year i vow to sit through all 24 hours of it, and every year, someone eventually breaks down and makes me turn it off (i happen to think it's endearing that i cannot watch it without quoting every single line, but apparently, most people find that to be "annoying.") the greatest thing about the holidays, though, is the time off work. i don't know what it is about sleeping until 9am on a thursday, but i swear, it's the greatest feeling on earth. and anyone who knows me knows that i spend most of my weekends with my family anyway, so having a whole day or two off just so that i can hang out with my mom and dad all day?? it's the gift that keeps on giving.

bring on the peace and goodwill to all. i'm totally ready for it.

halloween is defintely NOT for kids anymore!

i will let the photos speak for themselves.

running away with the circus

last night i went to see cirque du soleil's "kooza" which was, as i expected, completely amazing, but this particular show was sort of a throw back to the roots of cirque, with more focus on traditional death defying circus acts, and on clowning as well. that sort of made me roll my eyes when i got the tickets, because i, like every other normal human on the planet, am afraid of clowns. they are CREEPY. these clowns, though...they were FUNNY and not at all creepy, and had me laughing so hard my stomach still hurts today. there were three female contortionists (which i actually aspired to be when i was younger, but upon seeing that act, i'm actually glad that there are things that i cannot do with my body, because, oh yeah, it's not NORMAL for your limbs to bend that way!!) and i swear their act was the most insane thing i've ever seen, i don't understand that level of flexibility. i mean, i do yoga. i'm bendy. but this is a completely different game. i can't even describe what this girl was doing with her legs over her head and flipping herself around, but i will say this: i just can't imagine that contorting yourself that way can be good for your internal organs. at one point i was watching and thinking, where on earth is her stomach right now? - cause she was completely bent in half, with her rear end on her head and her feet on the floor in front of her. and i was also thinking...how on earth do you discover that you have that talent? i mean, i used to watch tv standing on my head, but i can't imagine what these girls were doing and how their parents must have reacted every time they heard "hey mom! look what i can do!" the music was also incredible, which i remember from another cirque show that we saw, but what i find most amazing is the engineering and the "backstage" work that goes into traveling productions like this. they set up this whole little village with these incredible tents and then bam, 2 weeks later, they fold the whole thing up and put it in a couple of trucks and off they go. i just finished reading "water for elephants" which was a great read, by the way, and i'm so interested in that whole lifestyle, and how so much of it is illusion. i also must say, as much as i hate to see any of the performers screw up, the last show we saw, not even a pinkie toe was out of place, but this show seemed more human - we saw a tightrope walker fall off the rope (um, after he leap frogged over another walker in front of him, so we forgave him his shortcoming!!), and after being catapulted through the air, another performer fell short of landing on top of a man standing on another man's shoulder and the whole thing came toppling down. it's nice to know that even these performers aren't perfect, and that what they are doing is actually hard to do, becuase when there is no flaw at all...it just seems like i could walk up there and do the same thing. there was also this realy amazing act that i don't know how to describe other than saying 2 guys who clearly have no fear of falling to their deaths did an amazing and highly entertaining performance on this giant metal circling ring of death thingy. i'm sorry but that's the best i can do. all in all, it was a great night, i'm so glad we got a chance to go and i hope we get to see cirque every time it's in town. in light of all this financial and political doom and gloom - especially here in washington - it was the perfect way to spend an evening thinking that there is nothing i would like to do more than run away with the circus.

how to bake a fennel

so, the cousin had me over for dinner last night and wouldn't you know it, he doesn't just cook you spaghetti like a normal boy would. no, no, we had baked halibut with fennel and asparagus, and in the process of helping him cook it, i learned the difference between peeling and "supreming" an orange (ok, really there is no difference, except for one you just peel it, and for the other, you use a big fancy knife to do the same thing that is accomplished by peeling and you call it some fancy word like "supreme"), and that you can actually put parchment paper in the oven. who knew? i thought you wrote illuminated manuscripts on parchment, so i'm happy to learn that you can also bake fish with it. we also made real live mashed potatoes, not the kind you get from a box that you mix with milk, and it makes all the difference in the world. but the fennel was a completely different story. what is a fennel, anyway? it looks sort of like an onion, but has this big scary celery looking arms coming out of the top of them, and the recipe is just all like, slice the fennel, but uh, i sorta need detailed directions on how to do that...so we just did our best. needless to say, i sliced that damn fennel and we made a bed of it in parchment paper to put that halibut to sleep on. then we covered it up with a blanket of asparagus and supremely supremed oranges and some salt, pepper and butter. it definitely came out much better than i'd imagined (i tend to cause disasters in the kitchen), but most of the fun was in the actual putting together of the meal. so, thank you, cousin, for making me make an out of the ordinary dinner. it was much better than the mac and cheese i would have eaten had i stayed home. i am still scared of fennel, though...