2010, we need to talk...

dear 2010,
i think it's more than fair to say that you were a little rough on me this year. as i sat down to write this, i reflected on the 365 days that have gone by since we met...and some of those days were among the hardest of my life so far. i could go on and on about what a jerk i think you are, and how ready i am to have you out of my life for good...but i think it would serve me better to focus on the good times that you and i had together. because while the lows were excruciatingly low and often painful, the highs were way too good to write you off as being a bad year. look at everything we did together. in challenging me to stand on my own, you gave me the opportunity to branch out in new ways and take on things i didn't think i was capable of.

because of you i was able to go back home and do something proactive and hands on by working in the lower 9th ward. have i ever tiled a floor before or used a wet saw or designed a pattern for fireplace tiles? no. but you didn't let that stop me. i learned a lot about myself on that trip, and in a time in my life when things were looking pretty bleak, it also gave me a chance to experience the simple goodness of helping another person in need.

you saw me through a milestone birthday when i turned 30 this april. i thought i would begrudge you for taking me out of my 20s, but i am more comfortable in my own skin now than i ever was at 21 or 25, and turning 30 felt like a good time to really push myself to get over some fears. hence the flying trapeze lesson (which, by the way, i am dying to do again). you gave me one of the best birthdays i can remember (aside from my 9th birthday, when i got that purple scooter that i rode around until the wheels fell off), and i can credit you with giving me a good reason to get my best friends together in our finest Mad Men attire to toast my oldness in style.

you took me to costa rica this year. my parents got to celebrate 40 years of marriage because of you, and we had a wonderful and exhausting trip. niki renewed their vows. i hung upside down on a zipline in the rainforest. we ate beans and rice every day. we also got rained on every day. you sparked the wanderlust that's been asleep inside of me for far too long, and inspired me to make a list of places i want to go next year and the year after that, and the year after that, too. we also went back to nola for a second time this year, and spent a long weekend with my favorite city in the world.

the crap you threw my way this year did motivate me to get serious about running. i have shaved minutes off my mile pace in the last 12 months i've spent with you. when i started back in february, i ran mostly because i felt like if i ran fast and far enough, i could outrun everything that was going wrong. but now i feel more like i'm running towards something instead of away. i haven't figured out what it is that i'm going towards yet, but i know i'll get there soon. since the beginning of august i have put over 200 miles on my tennis shoes, which might seem like peanuts to some people, but i'm really proud of that. i'm shooting for a half marathon in 2011, and you know, 2010, i really have you to thank for that. i have also lost about ten pounds, and i am not mad about that, either.

you saw me through a promotion and you also gave my sister a chance at her dream job, which she found in june. she (and my camera) went to africa this year, so i guess you figured if you were going to be such an a-hole to me, that maybe you should be nice to my sister. i've seen her photos and i've heard the stories she came back with and although i'm awfully jealous that she's been to 3 more continents than me, i am so proud of the work she does and of the wonderfully big hearted and loving person that she is. maybe some of that could rub off on me, who knows. but also job related, you did give me a chance to sit in on a meeting with chuck close in his studio this summer, which is an experience i will never, ever forget. it is not every day that one gets to meet someone they admire on that level, and getting to work with him - even in the limited capacity that i do - has been amazing beyond words.

i did have to move out of that kick ass apartment i had with the beautiful rooftop views and the polished concrete floors and the full sized kitchen that i totally took for granted...but i'm saving money in my new smaller, much simpler place, that hopefully i will be able to use to travel in 2011. if i can swing a trip abroad, awesome. if not, there is a long list of cities in the US that i need to get to. you were pretty hard on me financially, 2010, and i know we did have our good times, but i can say with all honesty that it won't be all that hard for me to watch you go.

i feel like you got a few lucky punches in...but in the end, i still came out on top. i know 2011 will come with its own set of rough days, but spending the last 12 months with you has really prepared me to deal with them head-on, and i'm stronger and better for the time that we spent together. but this is it. it's really over now and i want you to know that i gave you the best of me while i had you, but i'm totally and completely ready to let you go. so please...erase my number out of your phone and don't get mad if i defriend you on facebook. i have to do what's best for me and that means not being with you anymore. i promise to always cherish the good times we had together and i will always wish you well. but i belong to 2011 now. i hope one day that you can understand.

always,
lindsey

really, monday? REALLY???

so this past monday was not the greatest day of my life. in fact, this past monday REDEFINED the term "one of those days" and i do not mean that in a good way. first off, my mom called me at 6:30 am to tell me my father had gone into the emergency room earlier that morning and had been diagnosed with pancreantitis. my sister and i left work early to go to the hospital to visit him, and by the time we get there, she is in so much pain that she ends up going down into the ER and checking herself in. Turns out SHE had a kidney infection. she was released later that night, but after sitting and waiting with her for all her test results, etc., it was 11 pm by the time i got home. i take lincoln for a walk as soon as i get home and we come across 2 dogs that live in my neighborhood, running around off leash around their house, and lincoln has played with them before so i figure i'll take him off the leash, too, so they can play. bad. idea. lincoln runs up to the dogs and is immediately attacked by one of them - who knows why, but the dog's owner later guessed that it was because lincoln approached her while she was chewing on a bone (as if this is a good reason to attack someone). silly me tries to break up the fight because all i can think is, that dog is going to kill my dog and i have to get my dog out of there. i reach for the back of his neck to get at his collar, and my hand ends up in the mouth of the other dog. i don't know if you've ever been bitten by a dog before but let me tell you, IT EFFING HURTS. so i was in a bit of a state of shock, standing there bleeding all over the sidewalk and hoping that my dog still has all his appendages. the other dog's owner runs over and breaks up the fight and then helps me clean up my hand (again, OW), then i go back home and check lincoln out to make sure he's ok. and i notice he's got a pretty big gash in one ear and he's bleeding and he won't let me touch it to clean it up, so...since i have no car and it's midnight at this point, i have no choice but to call my sister and wake her up to come get us. luckily she was not all drugged up from her hospital stay, but i kinda was since i had taken some codene when i got back home since my hand felt like it had been through a meat grinder (note to self: stop thinking that you can take codene without becoming violently nauseated. you have tried this move on multiple occasions and it has never, EVER failed to make you completely and utterly sick.). so, despite being a little bit loopy from pain and codene, i drove niki back home and took lincoln straight to the 24 hour animal hospital. we got there at 1 am and after 5 hours, 4 stitches (in his ear, my baby!!), and $500, my dog was returned to me, doped up and completely useless, with his tounge hanging out of his mouth and absolutely no sense of who he was or what was going on. not to mention having a giant plastic cone on his head. we got home at 6:30 am as my alarm clock was going off to wake up for work (needless to say, i did not go to work that day), and i managed to get lincoln out of the car and into the apartment (which was no easy feat considering that he is almost 90 pounds and his limbs were not exactly functional at the time). the only thing i managed to accomplish on tuesday was getting a tetanus shot and going to sleep at 6pm. i'm still catching up on sleep, but at least lincoln has emerged from his sedative coma and aside from the humiliation brought upon him by the cone of shame, he seems to be doing pretty well, all things considered.

what irks me the most is that the other dog's owner has not even offered to help me pay lincoln's vet bill, and he actually suggested that we should have let them continue fighting since now there will be tension between our dogs. hey, idiot, they are not the capulets and the montagues. they are DOGS. and had i let your dog have another round with my dog, my dog would no doubt be missing his WHOLE EAR. get a grip on your life and keep your damn dog on a leash next time.

next week had better be much, MUCH nicer to me...