things that i do not understand

cheesecake. i do not understand cheesecake. i will not eat it simply on the principle that it sounds like it is cake made out of cheese. i like cheese and i like cake. (well... i like icing on cake, so what if i scrape it off and then throw away the cake?) but together? ick. cream cheese. that just sounds like evil. and i do not consume dairy products that i think may be trying to kill me. apparently, however, i make a mean pumpkin cheesecake.

away messages. or, out of office auto reply messages. hello, if i am trying to hide from the world, why do i need to set a message in my email to tell people that?? let them think i fell into a black hole under my desk or that i ran away to the south pacific. no one needs to know my business but me. and really, i have no intention of returning your email as soon as possible, anyway.

having to work the day before or after a major holiday that will involve massive amounts of eating. come on. i am completely checked out at least 3 days before any holiday. just go ahead and give me the day before and after. i promise i'll be ten times more productive than if i just get the one day off.

weave. or hair extensions. whatever you want to call it. are you so ashamed of your regular hair cut that you need to glue in 10 inch long strips of someone else's? i mean, i know sometimes its hard to be patient if you are trying to grow out your hair, but really, if your hair is shoulder length one day and down past your rear the next, rest assured that we all know that shit's fake.

why i am still here. honestly. i am still at work. why is this?? this i must remedy immediately...

only in america

i make no secret of the fact that i love thanksgiving. i mean, i LOVE it. not just because i love turkey. i mean, i do love turkey, but i hate stuffing, greenbean casserole, sweet potato casserole, that red cranberry stuff that comes out of the can and looks like jell-o (really? what IS that?), and just about any other thanksgiving-y side dish you could think to attempt to put on my plate. but i do love thanksgiving. i just love being with my family, the noise and chaos that a houseful of people who are related to each other brings, knowing that 2 hours after i've consumed enough turkey for a week's worth of dinners, i will be in the kitchen again, making myself a turkey sammich...really, i think this is what the pilgrims actually had in mind all those years ago. and i'm sure that had those pilgrims not been so busy trying to make sure that they didn't starve to death over the long and brutal winter, no doubt that they would have made huge cartoon character balloons that required 45 people to hold them down, and they would have paraded those suckers around the woods and asked vanessa williams to sing christmas songs to top it all off. if only the pilgrims knew that a gathering that for them was a matter of life or death would, hundreds of years later, turn into an annual "gorge yourself because it's thanksgiving" festival, complete with turkey themed napkins, parades hosted by katie couric and that annoying al roker guy, an enormous floating spongebob squarepants, and the chance to consume EVEN MORE the next day, in the form of leftover turkey and one day sales. aren't we just so lucky that our forefathers had the wherewithall to conjure up such a wonderful, wonderful holiday. leave it to a country where obesity runs rampant, to step things up a notch and encourage EVERYONE to eat not just one or two, but three helpings of stuffing and mashed potatoes, and at least 9 pounds worth of that 30 pound bird on the table, because god knows all that tryptophan will help you hibernate your way to spring! (don't worry though, we will wake you up for christmas - wouldn't want anyone to miss out on all that chocolate and good cheer!)

seriously, though. i love the holidays. i really do. especially because it means i'm one day closer to the "a christmas story" marathon on tbs and every year i vow to sit through all 24 hours of it, and every year, someone eventually breaks down and makes me turn it off (i happen to think it's endearing that i cannot watch it without quoting every single line, but apparently, most people find that to be "annoying.") the greatest thing about the holidays, though, is the time off work. i don't know what it is about sleeping until 9am on a thursday, but i swear, it's the greatest feeling on earth. and anyone who knows me knows that i spend most of my weekends with my family anyway, so having a whole day or two off just so that i can hang out with my mom and dad all day?? it's the gift that keeps on giving.

bring on the peace and goodwill to all. i'm totally ready for it.

halloween is defintely NOT for kids anymore!

i will let the photos speak for themselves.