so, for as many times as i've said i'm going to run away with the circus, i've never contemplated actually doing it. i just don't know that i'm cut out for that lifestyle, although i did read water for elephants and while it seemed awfully romantic to be on a train with a bunch of smelly animals and carnie freaks, i kind of like sleeping in my plush feathery bed and not having to shower with a bucket and a garden hose. HOWEVER. i recently turned 30, and as a little gift to myself, i finally signed up for one of the flying trapeze classes that i've been talking about for so long. i was a little surprised at myself, because i did take an airial silks class last summer (think those crazy people in cirque who fly around dangling from a silk rope like it's a totally normal and fairly simple thing to do) and there was a trapeze class also going on at the time. and it seemed like one of those things that i would say i wanted to do, but was actually too much of a ninny to follow through on. for one thing, i am TERRIFIED of things i can fall off of. blame the fact that i've cracked my head open too many times to count, but the idea of climbing up a rickety 25 foot ladder to throw myself off of a platform suspended in the air with a bunch of questionable looking cables seems a bit irrational to me. but, i talked myself into it and oh my god i am so glad i did.
the first time i had to climb the ladder i thought i was going to have a heart attack. that alone took me about 5 minutes, since i was clinging to the ladder and confessing all my sins the whole time. once i got to the platform, i was instructed to stand with my toes over the edge, hold on to the ladder on my left, and LEAN FORWARD. this is not what my brain wanted me to do. my brain, my sane and rational brain, was in full on panic mode with lights flashing and sirens going off and for a second i seriously considered telling the instructor i just couldn't do it. luckily, they really didn't give me the chance to chicken out, because the trapeze was in my hand before i knew it and then they gave me the signal to jump. for a second i almost forgot to hold on to the damn trapeze. but a half a second after i left the platform...i realized that i was flying. i wanted to cry and laugh (and honestly, i kinda wanted to throw up a little) at the same time, the feeling of swinging from that bar was so amazing. after i landed in the net after my first swing...i wanted to climb right back up and do it again. i got about 4 or 5 swings in before they let me try a catch with another instructor. i thought about being scared of that, but then i rationalized that if swinging on a bar by myself was so much fun, swinging from another human being must be even MORE fun.
i nailed a catch on my first try. THAT felt good. amazing, actually. completely and utterly amazing. i guess all that time i spent hanging upside down from the monkey bars as a kid was not such a waste of time after all. that may have been the best present i've EVER given myself and i cannot WAIT to do it again.
life on a train is starting to look pretty good...
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