today is monday. it was snowing when i woke up. i did NOT get a snow day. i have a pounding headache. these things are all directly related to one another.
anyone who knows me probably hears me go on and on about my headaches from time to time. i mean, sometimes even i think i am making this shit up cause i feel like i am always, always saying, "i have a headache." first thing when i wake up: i have a headache. midmorning sitting in front of my computer: i have a headache. sitting on the couch at home after dinner: i have a headache. WHAT GIVES? i recently decided that taking upwards of 6 excederin a day really wasn't going to be helpful in the long run and, fun as it is to sleep on an ice pak every night, i sucked it up and went to a neurologist. wanna know a secret? THIS WAS NOT MY FIRST TIME. i saw one when we lived in louisiana like 90 years ago, and i was seeing one for a while when i first moved up to dc, back in 2005. i have had MRIs, i have been on about 8 different meds, i have kept "headache journals", and had my eyes checked, but nothing seems to give anyone any reason for WHY my head feels like it's going to fall off about 85% of the time.
so, i tried a new neurologist this time. the conversation went like this:
him: so, how often are you having headaches?
me: um, how often is always? can i just say always?
him: are you taking anything over the counter?
me: i'm going through a bottle of 100 pills every 2 weeks. that's not bad, right?
him: any head injuries i should know about?
me: head injuries? no. not really. i mean, i cracked my head open when i was 4, fell out of a tree house when i was 6, smacked my head on concrete running around a pool when i was 9 and i was dropped off of a cheerleading pryamid when i was 12, but you don't think that has anything to do with this, do you?
him: have you had an MRI before?
me: twice. apparently my brain is NOT made of candy corn. i was dissappointed.
him: hmmmm...well let's start with another MRI and go from there.
me: excellent. where can i nominate you for doctor of the year?
so. that was last week. the MRI is next monday. if my head doesn't fall off by then. that machine is kind of scary and you have to be really still for like an hour. and i still don't believe that they can see inside my brain without being able to see what i'm thinking. i think maybe they just want to magnetize my brain so they can steal my secrets and all of my brilliant ideas. and i have lots of those, you know. i don't particularly like being on medication, either...and so far i've been on like 3 antidepressants and an anti-seizure medication for my headaches. so i was running around, not having seizures and singing the smurf song all day, but i was still having headaches. so. maybe this time i will get something that is you know, like an anti-HEADACHE medication and things will be as great as they were before i climbed into my friend's treehouse in my rollerskates and rolled backwards out the trap door and wound up with the greatest migraine this world has ever seen. maybe.
anyone who knows me probably hears me go on and on about my headaches from time to time. i mean, sometimes even i think i am making this shit up cause i feel like i am always, always saying, "i have a headache." first thing when i wake up: i have a headache. midmorning sitting in front of my computer: i have a headache. sitting on the couch at home after dinner: i have a headache. WHAT GIVES? i recently decided that taking upwards of 6 excederin a day really wasn't going to be helpful in the long run and, fun as it is to sleep on an ice pak every night, i sucked it up and went to a neurologist. wanna know a secret? THIS WAS NOT MY FIRST TIME. i saw one when we lived in louisiana like 90 years ago, and i was seeing one for a while when i first moved up to dc, back in 2005. i have had MRIs, i have been on about 8 different meds, i have kept "headache journals", and had my eyes checked, but nothing seems to give anyone any reason for WHY my head feels like it's going to fall off about 85% of the time.
so, i tried a new neurologist this time. the conversation went like this:
him: so, how often are you having headaches?
me: um, how often is always? can i just say always?
him: are you taking anything over the counter?
me: i'm going through a bottle of 100 pills every 2 weeks. that's not bad, right?
him: any head injuries i should know about?
me: head injuries? no. not really. i mean, i cracked my head open when i was 4, fell out of a tree house when i was 6, smacked my head on concrete running around a pool when i was 9 and i was dropped off of a cheerleading pryamid when i was 12, but you don't think that has anything to do with this, do you?
him: have you had an MRI before?
me: twice. apparently my brain is NOT made of candy corn. i was dissappointed.
him: hmmmm...well let's start with another MRI and go from there.
me: excellent. where can i nominate you for doctor of the year?
so. that was last week. the MRI is next monday. if my head doesn't fall off by then. that machine is kind of scary and you have to be really still for like an hour. and i still don't believe that they can see inside my brain without being able to see what i'm thinking. i think maybe they just want to magnetize my brain so they can steal my secrets and all of my brilliant ideas. and i have lots of those, you know. i don't particularly like being on medication, either...and so far i've been on like 3 antidepressants and an anti-seizure medication for my headaches. so i was running around, not having seizures and singing the smurf song all day, but i was still having headaches. so. maybe this time i will get something that is you know, like an anti-HEADACHE medication and things will be as great as they were before i climbed into my friend's treehouse in my rollerskates and rolled backwards out the trap door and wound up with the greatest migraine this world has ever seen. maybe.
2 comments:
Have you tried seeing a chiropractor and/or acupuncturist? Or House, MD?
If they are regular headaches and not migraine headaches, they could be originating somewhere else like a pinched nerve. One time the massage therapist at my chiropractor's office poked around in my back and made my jaw tingle. And another time he fixed a gnarly all-day headache by determining something was wrong in my shoulder area. Which is all just to say that your innards are interconnected and sometimes a headache has nothing to do with your head.
I have not tried acupuncture personally, but my sister-in-law is an acupuncturist and I have also heard from several independent trustworthy sources (i.e. not freaky hippies) that it can work wonders.
Just a suggestion if the MRI is still inconclusive (if you have a giant tumor in there, I would probably not suggest seeing a chiropractor for that).
emily, this is the reason you ended up with the let's go all the time. maybe if you actually didn't know like everything on the planet there is to know, no one would have any idea of your powers and you could just go about acting stupid when people ask you things about their bunions or some wicked persistant rash. i do want to try accupuncture. insurance will not have it, though. and it ain't cheap. and i've seen a chiropractor. he may have been a quack, but that was not a plesant experience for me.
house, md is next on my list. maybe he will suggest we make out a little. i bet that would totally help.
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