on the death of civility

If there was a word for being a semi-feminist, I would suppose that is how I would describe myself. I am all for equal pay for equal work, I believe a woman can do anything a man can do (and probably do it smarter, more efficiently, and for less money), and the whole notion of “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” sends chills up and down my spine. On the flip side, there are times when I want to pull my hair out and scream to the high heavens, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY AND COMMON COURTESY??? It was not that long ago, that a man would give up his seat on the bus to a woman who had to stand. NOT SO MUCH ANYMORE. There are times that I have given up my seat to an elderly woman or even an elderly man because not ONE of the self-absorbed mannerless grunts around me even thought to themselves, hey, maybe I should get up and let this person have my seat. No, no, this idea is old hat it would seem. And speaking of hats, how come men don’t wear those anymore? I mean a real hat, like a derby or a fedora, not one of those stupid knit skull caps that make you look like you’re about to rob a convenience store or a baseball hat. I mean, I would like to have a man tip his hat to me. Is that so wrong?? While I’m on my rampage, I would also like to know what happened to holding the door open for a lady. I can’t tell you how many times some schmuck has breezed through the door in front of me and let it slam back in my face because he can’t be bothered to see if there’s another human being exiting behind him. I do not get these women who say opening the door for a woman is sexist. Yes, I know I can do it myself. The idea is that I’M A LADY, see, so maybe I DON’T WANT TO DO IT MYSELF. My hands are delicate, you know? Men with manners. This is a rare species, a dying breed. There is actually a guy who works on my floor, and don’t you know that every time I walk into his office, HE STANDS UP. For real. He stands up. REMEMBER WHEN MEN USED TO DO THAT? No? I don’t either. Those were the days when women wore gloves and dressing gowns and men had those nifty pocket watches. But just the idea of it makes me buckle a little at the knees. Even my own husband has blown past me numerous times to get in a cab before me or he’ll walk through the door without thinking and let it close behind him. I keep threatening to send him to finishing school. I mean, can’t I demand equal rights except that you have to hold the door open for me? Can’t I say I could be president too, but you must pull my chair out for me at every chance? Is this asking for too much? Is it a generational thing, that manners are just going to be nonexistent by the time my children have children? Listening to kids talk to adults now just makes me want to slap their little smug faces, with their “yeah” and “uh huh” and “no” and I have to bite my tounge to keep from saying “YOU MEAN YES MA’AM??” cause that is the way I was raised. Yes ma’am, no ma’am, thank you, ma’am, please. Seriously, this was a song my grandma made up that my sister and I have engrained into our subconscious. My momma would’ve slapped me to Sunday if she ever heard me say “yeah” to a grownup. It’s just sad. I miss manners. Come on, guys. Would it kill you to give up your seat for a LADY? Of course, most women in my age bracket are not so much behaving like ladies anymore, but we won’t go into that…