On frozen precipitation

Ok, I am from the south. I grew up in a place where it snowed one time in EIGHTEEN YEARS, and we were all running around thinking we were going to die, because oh my god there was a WHOLE INCH of snow on the ground. White Christmas? Try 75 and sunny Christmas. Needless to say, I will never, EVER get used to this whole “snow” thing. And I want all ya’ll yankee types to know, that they DO NOT TEACH PEOPLE LIKE ME HOW TO DRIVE IN THE SNOW. So, let me loose when it’s been snowing for about an hour or two and may god have mercy on your souls. And mine. For real. As a southerner, there is no freakier feeling on this earth than when the back end of your car starts going in a direction other than where the front end is pointing. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT??? And since there is no snow down south, my driver’s ed course did not include a chapter on “steering into the spinout” or whatever the heck you want to call it. (steering into the arms of the devil if you ask me!!) Telling a person from the south not to panic and slam on the brakes when their car starts fishtailing in the snow is like telling a fish not to live in the water! IT’S WHAT WE DO. So OF COURSE today I have a doctor’s appointment that requires me taking the car and OF COURSE it’s snowing cause nothing can ever be easy for me. And listen up, ya’ll might have won that stupid war, but that does not give you the right to fly by me on the interstate going 95 miles an hour in the snow and honking your horn at me – if I want to drive 35 flippin miles an hour, dammit, no one is going to stop me. I’M BEING CAUTIOUS. This may be something you want to look into, JACKASSES. Cause every year, without fail, there are like ten million pileups on the road every single snow day because all ya’ll think you can drive in the snow, like you do not need snow tires or windshield wipers or the fact that there is 4 inches of icy slush on the ground will not impede YOUR driving…and what do you know, you start sliding around like Disney on ice and you want to know WHY. I will tell you why, crazy northern people. CAUSE IT’S SNOWING. And don’t give me the “oh, you people drive slow and tap your brakes and you cause accidents too” crap, because this stuff falling out of the sky is not normal and NO ONE should know how to maneuver around in all this treachosity. I am not driving slow. I am taking my time. I am not tapping my brakes. I want to make sure they still work and are not frozen like everything else around me. So. Maybe if you all would just acknowledge that the sky if falling and you should maybe slow down and proceed with caution, we wouldn’t all be in this big fat mess to begin with.