random friday thoughts

dear adam sandler- i finally forgive you for that jackhole zohan movie. i had sworn you off (if you will recall in a previous blog that i believe is buried somewhere on myspace), but i saw bedtime stories not long ago and decided to come around, and turn the other cheek. so. you're off the hook. make another shiteous movie, though...and we will be done for good. enjoy my good graces while you have them.

dear inconsiderate asshole with a driver's liscense- i am still mad that you plowed through that puddle on wednesday morning, doing at least 45 miles an hour, and sending a shower of disgusting, stagnant rainwater all over me and my sister on our way to work. i dont' know, maybe you were busy talking on the phone or shaving or trying to figure out why your friends don't return your calls, but it is beyond me how you could spray water that high into the air (and that much onto innocent pedestrians who do not have the luxury of sitting in their nice warm, dry suvs on the way to work) and not even tap the brakes, indicating that your head is so far up your ass, that you clearly did not even notice that you had just soaked 2 people. so thank you. thanks for reminding me that humanity is on its way out. i hope YOUR day was pleasant. jerk.

dear craigslist furniture buying crazy people - yes, it's true, i'm trying to sell some furniture before i move. i posted a few things and if you ask me, buying furniture that's less than a year old for half of the MRP sounds like a damn good deal to me. but to all of you with your insane and nit picky questions about what brand my bed frame is or what exact shade of brown the wood is, let me tell you a little something: this is not amazon.com, or a department store where you can come in, look around, and decide not to buy. you are knowingly looking to purchase USED furniture. i'm sorry that shade of brown is not EXACTLY what you're looking for. i would advice you to get thyself to some overpriced furniture warehouse and scope out some new shit if you're going to be all that particular about mine. and do not insult me by offering me less than half of what i'm asking. i know there's a recession, but that doesn't mean i'm giving my shit away for free.

dear diet coke- i know i am a married woman and all, but i think i'm in love with you. i just wanted to throw that out there.

dear me - i think we are getting old because the other night i had a great idea for a really funny blog and now i cannot for the life of me remember what it was about. perhaps it's time for a multi-vitamin?