a pointless list of my very own!

so, it’s monday. and monday is always a great time to start over, wipe the slate clean, and organize your life. all those self-help books say you have to visualize what you want and then make it happen, so i figure that making a list is a good way to do that. and since my sister does not get to own making up pointless lists that serve no real purposes inside the realm of what i like to call “reality,” i figured it’s about time for me to make up a stupid list of my own. but instead of naming all 97 of my children (and by the way, niki, i think it’s creepy that you even want that many children or that you would even aspire to come up with that many ridiculous names), i decided i want to make a list of all the things that i want to come back as in my next life. because maybe if the karma gods are listening, i can visualize my way into becoming everything i’ve ever wanted to be. so here i go:
1. an architect – cause i’m not smart enough for that in this life
2. a race car driver
3. not that i condone the captivity of them, but it would be so awesome to be one of those people at sea world who gets to swim with the killer whales
4. an archeologist – cause i got a huge kick out of digging around in my backyard as a kid and i think i would make a really great indiana jones
5. an aerial acrobat in cirque du solieil (or basically anyone who wasn’t afraid of anything they could fall off of, which is the state of my current life)
6. a dog – cause my dog has a pretty cushy life. but i wouldn’t want to be one of those small lap dogs that yip all the time. i want to be a big ol lazy ass dog that lies in the sun all day and drools up a storm. and snores. i’d want to snore really loud.
7. an art restorer. apparently you have to know a lot about science and chemistry and i just don’t have the brain for that in this life, but when i was in italy a few summers back i saw all these girls in overalls up on scaffolding (see list item#5) chatting in italian while they worked on frescos that were like 500 years old and i thought, damn, what an awesome job. i always have a hard time keeping my hands to myself in museums, so i think it would really satisfy a serious craving for me to be able to put my hands on all that stuff
a. if this should ever actually happen, i will also need to come back as someone who can speak italian. or maybe just be bilingual in general.
b. also, it takes a certain body type to pull off overalls and still look cute, so i’ll need to come back as a very teeny (but still bosomy) lady
8. someone with any kind of musical talent. if i could play the cello, or maybe the piano, i think that would make me a whole lot cooler in one of my next lives. also, if i could ever get to the point where i could play magic man by heart on the guitar, i just might rock my way into nirvana
9. a celebrity – but one of the cool ones who is very rarely in the tabloids, but is constantly going to places like bora bora or dubai because they have boatloads of money. if i were celebrity rich, i’d keep one house (with a normal amount of bedrooms, like 3), i would finally get my fully restored 1979 pontiac firebird transam, i would travel a whole lot, and i would give the rest to charity. cause nobody needs 5 cars, $1500 purses, or a $750,000 movie theatre in their house that no one ever uses
10. and finally, in one of my next lives, I think it would be pretty sweet to come back as one of those badass roller derby chicks with all the tattoos and a really awesome haircut. My mom made me promise never to get a tattoo (although I’m seriously considering revoking that promise cause I think I might really want one), so maybe in my next life I should be covered with them. But maybe not the whole roller derby thing. I don’t like being bruised. I am a big wimp. So maybe I’ll just go with the tats and the hair and leave it at that.