the post holiday slump

every year around this time i think to myself, good grief, where did the last year of my life go? it's almost new year's which means that i have to adjust to writing /09 instead of /08 and it also reminds me that i'm that much closer to turning 30, which i like to think i am cool with but will most likely have some sort of breakdown when it actually does happen. for instance, i was over at my mom's last night and as i was leaving, for some reason or another, it occured to me that i am nearly 30 years old and i do not live at home with my parents anymore. and that kind of made me sad. not because i want to be 30 and living with my parents, but because sometimes i really do miss the times when i was a kid and living at home and my biggest worry was whether or not the plastic dinosaur i left out in the rain was going to mildew or if my mom was going to cut the ends off my peanut butter sandwhiches. it's so cliche to say, but it all goes by so quickly, and the holidays only serve to remind me of that, because i get all excited around thanksgiving and start listening to christmas music and wrapping presents and gearing up for this one day that is...over in a heartbeat. so where did my 2008 go? well, let's see. i went to puerto rico twice on business this year. did makeup for a local cooking show, a few fashion shows and photo shoots and even got paid for a few jobs. i took my sister to see tom petty, and she took me to see billy joel. i put in volunteer time for the national museum of women in the arts and the animal welfare league of arlington. i celebrated my one year wedding anniversary. i finally made it back to italy after 6 long years. i saw the acropolis in athens. went to see a midnight showing of the latest batman movie. i shook hands with the last living lead actor of gone with the wind, my all time favorite movie (that would be olivia dehaviland), i hit some golf balls with my father, auditioned to be a MAC makeup artist (i still think that is their loss!!), drove to montreal and back in a 72 hour period, shared a stage with the First Lady at the White House, took erik to see cirque du soleil, voted for a new president, and kissed my mother approximately 9,784 times. although it was on a sad note, i did see my dad's family at my uncle's funeral, and i was able to share mother's day brunch with my grandmother. i took around 5,000 pictures. i spent time with my girlfriends. i laughed a lot. i cried a little, too. (ok, i cried a lot, what of it??) i got a little stronger and a little more wise. i've seen a little more of the world. maybe i am not a little kid anymore and maybe i have bigger things to worry about than where i left my favorite barbie, but i guess i wouldn't be able to live the life i live without growing up a little every day and letting go, just a little, of the safety net of my family. but i mean, just a little...i could crumble any day now and run crying back to my mother with a skinned knee, you never know. it's a delicate balance. but i'm looking forward to 2009. i have goals. there are trips i want to take. things i want to do. i will have a new niece or nephew come summer time, and erik and i will be moving yet again next month, so i will start the new year in a new apartment, and god knows i love organizing closets, so there's that. 2008 went by really quickly. REALLY quickly. but it was a good year. there were ups and there were downs, but now that christmas is over and i'm hanging in the balance between all that holly jolly and all the happy new year, i can take a minute and look back and say, yeah. i did the best i could this year. and i'm happy with that.