seeing as how friday was the 1 year anniversary of the untimely death of the king of pop, niki and i went to see a michael jackson tribute band at the 9:30 club on saturday night. the band - aptly named Who's Bad - was great, and they alternated between 2 lead singers who came out as different "versions" of MJ depending on what song they were playing. There was Jackson 5 Michael, Thriller Michael, Billie Jean Michael, Military Jacket Lisa Marie loving Michael...it was all highly entertaining, the music was great and one of the "Michael's" had clearly dedicated his life to studying MJ's dance moves because he had it DOWN. that is not what i want to talk about, though. what i want to talk about is the DUMB ASS girls that parked themselves in front of my sister and i and did their absolute best to ruin our night and the night of everyone around us.
so niki and i spot this girl before the show starts. we're standing about 3 people back from the front of the stage and we see this girl who is tall and blonde and thin and has on white shorts and a black lacy top and her legs were about 6 years long and in perfect shape and both of us were in awe of how close to perfection her body was. now, i knew up front that this girl had to be either a spectacular BORE or a huge BITCH, because the way god works is that no one that is physically perfect can also have a great personality. i know this because i have spent a lot of time researching this topic. really really hot girls are never super smart, and super smart girls are never really really hot. i don't mean you can't be smart and pretty. i'm just saying you can't be jaw droppingly beautiful and also qualify for membership in MENSA. if you can disprove my theory, please, by all means...point this person out to me. anyway, i was right about Legs, cause boy did she turn out to be the most obnoxious person in the entire room. as niki and i stood there, more and more of her over 6 foot tall friends showed up and pushed their way to what they clearly felt was their rightful concert viewing place right in front of my 5 foot 3 self. one after another these girls showed up, screeching and jumping up and down and taking pictures of themselves and clearing more and more space around them so that they could have a grand old time while the rest of us peasants got shoved farther and farther back from the stage.
it is a good thing that i am such a brat at concerts, because some people might put up with this and some people might just say, oh well, i'll just move back. NUH UH. not having it. i held on to my square foot of space and refused to move. when one of the michaels invited some ladies up on stage for a song and a surge of women in minidresses moved forward and started shoving up against Legs and her friends, oh my god...look out. at one point, some guy pushed his way through to these girls and literally stood right in front of me - and i'm not lying this guy was at least 6'4", i tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned around i said, dude. WHAT THE F*CK. his response was to look at me and then turn back around. hello, jackhole, that is not an answer. luckily the guy next to me was a shorty, too, and the 2 of us ganged up on him and scared him away. and it wasn't just niki and i who were annoyed...pretty much everyone around us had had it up to their eyeballs with this group by the time they even got around to doing Thriller.
look, i love a good concert and i don't mind a crowd. what i mind is stupid people doing stupid things and taking the fun out of it for everyone else. we finally did give up our spots to hit up the bathroom and grab another beer, and it was probably for the best, becuase i totally needed more elbow room for dancing to man in the mirror. but i say to you, dumb ass tall leggy girls of the world: just because i am shorter than you doesn't mean you can walk all over me. i have a lower center of gravity and i know how to throw a right hook. check yourselves. MJ may be a lover, not a fighter...but i am not taking shit from NO ONE.
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