life is a highway...i'm taking it from here to portland!

i don't know about you, but i have ALWAYS wanted to drive across the country. the idea of spending 5 days in a car, going from sea to shining sea pretty much makes me giddy with excitement - and there aren't a whole lot of things that can do that to me. so a friend of mine is moving across country and over dinner last week, she and i were talking about how fun it would be if we could do the drive together and see some places we've both never been to before. at first it was just a joke, but when she said, no, you really should come with me, it occurred to me that there was really nothing standing in my way. i mean, i have a dog, but outside of paying my relatively low rent and a few standard bills every month, i haven't had the kind of freedom that i have now since i was in college. i've never seen most of the states out west and my boss was perfectly fine with me taking a few days off, so i really couldn't think of a reason why i shouldn't go. we are leaving on thursday. i am going to need a LOT of music and a LOT of snacks (because as much as i love driving and road trips and being in the car in general, i HATE eating crap fast food for days on end). i am also going to need a LOT of valium to get on an airplane to fly 3,000 BACK across the country. that part i am not looking forward to. but it's a new year and i have a new lease on life and i'm not going to let my fears stop me from doing things that i want to do. so. look out, corn palace...i'll be seeing you soon. first stop is nashville...kate and i are convinced we'll be "discovered" before we have a chance to get out of town. well...maybe kate is convinced of that.

2010, we need to talk...

dear 2010,
i think it's more than fair to say that you were a little rough on me this year. as i sat down to write this, i reflected on the 365 days that have gone by since we met...and some of those days were among the hardest of my life so far. i could go on and on about what a jerk i think you are, and how ready i am to have you out of my life for good...but i think it would serve me better to focus on the good times that you and i had together. because while the lows were excruciatingly low and often painful, the highs were way too good to write you off as being a bad year. look at everything we did together. in challenging me to stand on my own, you gave me the opportunity to branch out in new ways and take on things i didn't think i was capable of.

because of you i was able to go back home and do something proactive and hands on by working in the lower 9th ward. have i ever tiled a floor before or used a wet saw or designed a pattern for fireplace tiles? no. but you didn't let that stop me. i learned a lot about myself on that trip, and in a time in my life when things were looking pretty bleak, it also gave me a chance to experience the simple goodness of helping another person in need.

you saw me through a milestone birthday when i turned 30 this april. i thought i would begrudge you for taking me out of my 20s, but i am more comfortable in my own skin now than i ever was at 21 or 25, and turning 30 felt like a good time to really push myself to get over some fears. hence the flying trapeze lesson (which, by the way, i am dying to do again). you gave me one of the best birthdays i can remember (aside from my 9th birthday, when i got that purple scooter that i rode around until the wheels fell off), and i can credit you with giving me a good reason to get my best friends together in our finest Mad Men attire to toast my oldness in style.

you took me to costa rica this year. my parents got to celebrate 40 years of marriage because of you, and we had a wonderful and exhausting trip. niki renewed their vows. i hung upside down on a zipline in the rainforest. we ate beans and rice every day. we also got rained on every day. you sparked the wanderlust that's been asleep inside of me for far too long, and inspired me to make a list of places i want to go next year and the year after that, and the year after that, too. we also went back to nola for a second time this year, and spent a long weekend with my favorite city in the world.

the crap you threw my way this year did motivate me to get serious about running. i have shaved minutes off my mile pace in the last 12 months i've spent with you. when i started back in february, i ran mostly because i felt like if i ran fast and far enough, i could outrun everything that was going wrong. but now i feel more like i'm running towards something instead of away. i haven't figured out what it is that i'm going towards yet, but i know i'll get there soon. since the beginning of august i have put over 200 miles on my tennis shoes, which might seem like peanuts to some people, but i'm really proud of that. i'm shooting for a half marathon in 2011, and you know, 2010, i really have you to thank for that. i have also lost about ten pounds, and i am not mad about that, either.

you saw me through a promotion and you also gave my sister a chance at her dream job, which she found in june. she (and my camera) went to africa this year, so i guess you figured if you were going to be such an a-hole to me, that maybe you should be nice to my sister. i've seen her photos and i've heard the stories she came back with and although i'm awfully jealous that she's been to 3 more continents than me, i am so proud of the work she does and of the wonderfully big hearted and loving person that she is. maybe some of that could rub off on me, who knows. but also job related, you did give me a chance to sit in on a meeting with chuck close in his studio this summer, which is an experience i will never, ever forget. it is not every day that one gets to meet someone they admire on that level, and getting to work with him - even in the limited capacity that i do - has been amazing beyond words.

i did have to move out of that kick ass apartment i had with the beautiful rooftop views and the polished concrete floors and the full sized kitchen that i totally took for granted...but i'm saving money in my new smaller, much simpler place, that hopefully i will be able to use to travel in 2011. if i can swing a trip abroad, awesome. if not, there is a long list of cities in the US that i need to get to. you were pretty hard on me financially, 2010, and i know we did have our good times, but i can say with all honesty that it won't be all that hard for me to watch you go.

i feel like you got a few lucky punches in...but in the end, i still came out on top. i know 2011 will come with its own set of rough days, but spending the last 12 months with you has really prepared me to deal with them head-on, and i'm stronger and better for the time that we spent together. but this is it. it's really over now and i want you to know that i gave you the best of me while i had you, but i'm totally and completely ready to let you go. so please...erase my number out of your phone and don't get mad if i defriend you on facebook. i have to do what's best for me and that means not being with you anymore. i promise to always cherish the good times we had together and i will always wish you well. but i belong to 2011 now. i hope one day that you can understand.

always,
lindsey

really, monday? REALLY???

so this past monday was not the greatest day of my life. in fact, this past monday REDEFINED the term "one of those days" and i do not mean that in a good way. first off, my mom called me at 6:30 am to tell me my father had gone into the emergency room earlier that morning and had been diagnosed with pancreantitis. my sister and i left work early to go to the hospital to visit him, and by the time we get there, she is in so much pain that she ends up going down into the ER and checking herself in. Turns out SHE had a kidney infection. she was released later that night, but after sitting and waiting with her for all her test results, etc., it was 11 pm by the time i got home. i take lincoln for a walk as soon as i get home and we come across 2 dogs that live in my neighborhood, running around off leash around their house, and lincoln has played with them before so i figure i'll take him off the leash, too, so they can play. bad. idea. lincoln runs up to the dogs and is immediately attacked by one of them - who knows why, but the dog's owner later guessed that it was because lincoln approached her while she was chewing on a bone (as if this is a good reason to attack someone). silly me tries to break up the fight because all i can think is, that dog is going to kill my dog and i have to get my dog out of there. i reach for the back of his neck to get at his collar, and my hand ends up in the mouth of the other dog. i don't know if you've ever been bitten by a dog before but let me tell you, IT EFFING HURTS. so i was in a bit of a state of shock, standing there bleeding all over the sidewalk and hoping that my dog still has all his appendages. the other dog's owner runs over and breaks up the fight and then helps me clean up my hand (again, OW), then i go back home and check lincoln out to make sure he's ok. and i notice he's got a pretty big gash in one ear and he's bleeding and he won't let me touch it to clean it up, so...since i have no car and it's midnight at this point, i have no choice but to call my sister and wake her up to come get us. luckily she was not all drugged up from her hospital stay, but i kinda was since i had taken some codene when i got back home since my hand felt like it had been through a meat grinder (note to self: stop thinking that you can take codene without becoming violently nauseated. you have tried this move on multiple occasions and it has never, EVER failed to make you completely and utterly sick.). so, despite being a little bit loopy from pain and codene, i drove niki back home and took lincoln straight to the 24 hour animal hospital. we got there at 1 am and after 5 hours, 4 stitches (in his ear, my baby!!), and $500, my dog was returned to me, doped up and completely useless, with his tounge hanging out of his mouth and absolutely no sense of who he was or what was going on. not to mention having a giant plastic cone on his head. we got home at 6:30 am as my alarm clock was going off to wake up for work (needless to say, i did not go to work that day), and i managed to get lincoln out of the car and into the apartment (which was no easy feat considering that he is almost 90 pounds and his limbs were not exactly functional at the time). the only thing i managed to accomplish on tuesday was getting a tetanus shot and going to sleep at 6pm. i'm still catching up on sleep, but at least lincoln has emerged from his sedative coma and aside from the humiliation brought upon him by the cone of shame, he seems to be doing pretty well, all things considered.

what irks me the most is that the other dog's owner has not even offered to help me pay lincoln's vet bill, and he actually suggested that we should have let them continue fighting since now there will be tension between our dogs. hey, idiot, they are not the capulets and the montagues. they are DOGS. and had i let your dog have another round with my dog, my dog would no doubt be missing his WHOLE EAR. get a grip on your life and keep your damn dog on a leash next time.

next week had better be much, MUCH nicer to me...

on giving thanks

it is the friday before thanksgiving. i am at work. there is something wrong with this picture. i am pretty sure that trying to focus on anything work related when thanksgiving is on the horizon is a pretty futile mission, because all i can think about is a 4 day weekend, the delicious bourbon apple pie i plan to bake, and lounging around with my family while my body deals with all the tryptophan i intend to load it up with. since next week will be a short work week, i'm also pretty sure it will be a small miracle to get me to accomplish anything, but apparently other people around here don't think that the whole world needs to stop for an entire week just so i can eat 19 pounds of turkey. i haven't even eaten any turkey today and my eyelids feel like i have weights attached to them, so how i am going to make it through next wednesday is beyond me. i just wish that all the stores hadn't totally overlooked thanksgiving and gone straight into the christmas hoopla - i've never entirely understood why this happens every year. the day after halloween has apparently become the day when stores indulge themselves in a christmas free-for-all, and the second the witches and goblins come down, the christmas trees and jolly elves go up in their place. i hope all the pilgrims and cornacopia decorations that get relegated to the bottom shelf aren't too upset about this (because i know i would be), but i guess the tacky holiday decorations/useless crap you don't need industries feel like christmas is a bigger money maker than poor old thanksgiving. hello, does the president PARDON anyone at christmastime? no. does the city of new york shut itself down to parade 45 foot inflatable cartoon characters down the street on christmas? NO. do sales the day after christmas inspire people to camp out in front of department stores at ungodly hours just so that they can save a few bucks on a flat screen tv? NO. so why all this rush to get to christmas? i mean, i flippin LOVE me some christmas, but i love thanksgiving, too, so i just don't get why we are always in such a rush to blow through a perfectly lovely holiday (so what if it's really just an excuse to eat more in one sitting than one should consume in a week??) to get to the next one. chill out, people. the year will be over in about 5 minutes anyway, so slow your asses down and let me enjoy it while it lasts. because god knows once new year's has come and gone, i will actually have to start getting some work done, and we all know how much of a good time THAT is.

there's no place like home...

there are few things on this earth that excite me as much as a short work week. however, having a short work week because i am taking off on thursday for the MOTHERLAND (that is new orleans to those of you who may not know) is just about the greatest thing on earth. ever. last time i was down was back in march, when i went to do some volunteer work, and while i did get some time to love up on my favorite city on earth, i did actually have work to do during the day, so i didn't get to spend as much time making googly eyes at nola as i would have liked to. NOT SO THIS TIME. i figured that since 2010 has been a bit rough on me, i totally deserve a trip back home to recharge my batteries, see my best friend, catch some kickass live music, and maybe even drink a daiquiri (or four). seriously, just the wafting smell of popeyes when you land at msy airport makes my heart smile, and i have been known to cry tears of joy just standing in the sun on the steps of st. louis cathedral and listening to the beautiful concert of sound that the french quarter makes on a daily basis. you know that feeling that you get when you are with someone who just gets why you are the way you are and you don't ever have to explain yourself or apolgize for seeing things the way you see them? they just feel like home, in every sense of the word, and that is how new orleans feels to me, even though my sarsgaard (don't ask) of a cousin insists that i never actually LIVED in new orleans (which is ridiculous, because NEITHER DID HE since gretna technically is not new orleans). being in new orleans just makes me feel more like me than i ever feel anywhere else, including DC. actually, i also feel this way about florence, but i see much less of florence than i do of lady nola. (hmm, that would make an awesome stage name, but that is a digression of what i'm talking about and i think maybe lady gaga owns the rights to "lady" anything nowadays which is sad cause i always wanted a title with "lady" in front...) ANYWAY, the point is that i am going home and i am freakin excited. i am going to bring my tennis shoes and run all over the french quarter and down st. charles so that i can then eat fried catfish and drink 1200 calorie slushy drinks (mmmm, white russian daiquiris!!!) and not feel all that terribly awful about it. i am going to spend time with my best friend and laugh at all the stupid things we used to do back in grade school and i am going to hold her son and marvel at the fact that this girl that used to play in the woods with me after school is now someone's mother and he in fact seems to be a pretty normal and happy child despite the fact that she is a nut job. i am going to fill my ears with all the live music i can get and i am going to stop and listen to all the amazing street performers in the quarter (i will not, however, even so much as stop to look at all the mimes because they can smell my fear of them and they prey on me because of this). i am going to go home and soak up every bit of that place that i can, and i am not going to think about work, or anything going on in my life except for the poboy that is in front of me. except my dog. i might think about him. he likes crawfish, and he is a lazy bum, so i know he would fit right in in nola. so. two more work days and i am off to restore my sanity in the craziest city in the world. i. can't. wait.

things i learned in costa rica

-not only is it totally acceptable to eat rice and beans at every meal, it's pretty much expected. had i known this earlier, i would have shunned smoothies, yogurt and oatmeal ages ago. rice + beans = HEAVEN (actually, it equals casado, but that's another story).

-there is a reason they call it the rainforest. because IT RAINS. a lot. and in rainy season, that means pretty much every single day. however, just because it's raining (and i'm talking like the second flooding of the holy land kind of raining) doesn't mean that costa ricans will call off any sort of outdoor activities. including ziplining. apparently, being soaked to the bone and strapped into a 20 pound harness while hiking half a mile up a mountain is not out of the ordinary for them. i also learned that it takes me a solid 20 minutes of misery to get over myself, embrace the suck, and actually enjoy something i was previously complaining about. this is how one ends up hanging upside down from a cable hooked to a tree 30 feet above the ground in the pouring rain. only in central america. i highly recommend that everyone do this at least once, though. despite the rain and the bird sized mosquitos, it is a rather thrilling experience.

-wild monkeys cannot be trusted. don't ask me why, just take my word for it. and never let them know that you have bananas. it's all downhill from there.

-costa rica is apparently where laptops go to commit hard drive suicide. so that slide show you worked on for over a week to show your parents on their 40th anniversary? GONE. your entire itunes library? GONE. every photo you've taken in the last 5 years? GONE. which brings me to another lesson that i learned while in costa rica: BACK YOUR SHIT UP. (ok, i'm being dramatic, i didn't lose EVERYTHING, but i lost enough to feel it where it really hurts, and the fools at the mac store are all like, "oh we don't do file extraction, you have to take it to a specialist for that kind of data recovery." HELLO, YOU are the specialists, are you not? clearly, they don't really mean that "genius" part of "genius bar." fools.)

-when you are ten latitidunal degrees north of the equator, tanning does not work the same way it does back home. you know why it's hotter down there? BECAUSE YOU'RE CLOSER TO THE SUN. so, laying out with no sunscreen on because you want to "get a little color" on your legs is really only going to lead to sunpoisioning (my mother can attest to that). i may be the only person in history to come back from a week in costa rica no tanner than when i arrived. i like my skin and i want to keep it. that means putting sunscreen on. more than once a day. and wear a hat while you're at it.

-no amount of bug repellant will protect you. we literally had about 20 lbs worth of mosquito repelling supplies between the 4 of us and i still look like i have the chicken pox. but that's because i'm the person who gets bitten while everyone else around me is like "what bugs??" my mother has always said the bugs are attracted to me because i'm so sweet but i'm calling her bluff. i think they just know how much it pisses me off. those mosquitos...they're organized. i expect a coup any moment now.

-costa rica is an amazing country with beautiful, friendly people, delicious food (when you leave your hotel), bizarre looking wildlife (like that raccoon looking thing that niki let kiss her in the ear), and very tiny horses. they aren't so much into paving their roads or putting their dogs on leashes. oh and also, one must watch out for niki from now on. she went and got herself ordained as a minister (that's "The Rev" to you!), and i'm a little fearful that one day i'm going to fall asleep around her and i'll wake up married.

vay-kay-shun

i'm not entirely sure how this happened, but it's monday again. normally i would complain about how quickly my weekend went by and i don't feel rested because i kept myself so busy because i don't know how to sit still and just relax on the weekends and whine that 3 day weekends should be the rule instead of the exception, BUT...i am kind of glad this weekend went by so fast. it means that i am now less than a week out from my trip to costa rica and since i haven't been out of the country (because i don't count canada, even though they do speak all that crazy french business in montreal and have different money and eat weird things like french fries covered in cheese curd and gravy) since 2008 and my passport is ITCHING to get the hey out of town. so we're trying to plan what all we're going to do while we are there and i think it's going to amount to a whole lot of nothing, which i'd like to say is fine with me, but i have never been good at relaxing anyway and there is only so much poolside reading and mai thai sipping i can do before i start getting bored and antsy and annoying the crap out of everyone that i'm with. so we've been looking into some "adventure tours" like ziplining (which i want to think i'd be ok with, but honestly, i'm really not sure if my inner ninny baby could handle this) and snorkeling, but what i really want to do is go horseback riding on the beach. i want to say i'd be down for diving or snorkeling because i've done both before and loved it, but that's when i was young and fearless and my older and wiser self is now consumed with fear of jellyfish to the point where i can't even look at them without going into full body paralysis. maybe i will be able to get over myself long enough to prove that i can too get into the water without being stung or freaked out or abducted by monster jellyfish and carried away to the depths of the ocean where i will be forced to serve the jellyfish queen until the end of time. this has happened to at least 3 people that i know of.

but i do have at least 3 books to read (yes, 2 of which i have already read once before), and i am bringing my tennis shoes because this place is supposed to have a nice gym and if i'm going to be privvy to all inclusive eating and drinking for 7 days, there will be lots of working out to counter that. plus i will have my family and they are pretty much a walking reality show anyway, so that promises to be amusing at the very least. anyway, i doubt being bored in costa rica is anywhere near as awful as being bored sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day, and i am, in fact, rather looking forward to being bored out of my mind at the swim-up bar that graces the hotel pool. i am also looking forward to living in sundresses for an entire week and not once getting up in the morning and thinking, what am i going to wear to work today?? because, oh, that's right, I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO WORK TODAY. i hope costa rica is prepared....